Being Vunerable

Venerability . . . oh, how we fight against being vulnerable with one another . . . why?!

I used to hide behind masks myself – believe me – I had a mask for almost every situation! “never let anyone know what I was really feeling”, that was my way of approaching life . . . yes, even as a Christian, even in Ministry! I would be sharing with others about the Love of Christ and living in victory, but be torn apart inside . . . never letting others know what was REALLY going on in my own shattered world! NOT ANY MORE!!!!  The Lord has shown me that there is a reason His Word tells us to “bear one another’s burdens”! Galatians 6:2

How can we truly be healed, if we do not allow others to minister to our wounds?!

How can we grow, if we do not allow the weeds to be pulled, the branches to be pruned and the roots to be fed and watered?!

I ask again . . . why?! Now, I answer . . . PRIDE, plain and simple . . . one of satan’s nasty tools that he loves to use to keep us from reaching our potential as becoming the beautiful whole sanctified Bride of Christ . . . (lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh and the pride of life; 1 John 2:16), his tricks never change! But why are we so quick to fall for his silly little dangling carrots in front of us?! For years I did, but NO MORE!!! I now make the conscious effort to choose to be vulnerable – to be open, even IF people make their own choice to think differently of me – that is their problem. I will forgive them.

So, here I am, with NO mask, sharing my heart . . . things have been REALLY chaotic to say the least, for a while now . . . took care of one side of it . . . now more ‘stuff’ has come up, and WOW! Mercy, I’m listening to a song just now that is talking about ‘the bottom falling out’ – how appropriate – BUT GOD! He has it ALL in His Hands! It is the trusting in Him through it that causes me to remind myself to “Breathe, girl!” (honestly, I do forget sometimes, and have to remind myself when I find myself really lightheaded!)  And I look at those I love, and sometimes find my thoughts going “who IS this person? why are they talking this way? what is going on? where is all this coming from?” Of course, I KNOW we do NOT wrestle against flesh but against principalities and powers . . . etc. Ephesians 6:12  and that I just have to crawl up on Abba Father’s lap and rest in Him, drawing upon Holy Spirit’s never ending PEACE that passes ALL understanding and press on ahead . . . but, being REAL here . . . the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak (sometimes)…. remember, I’ve left the masks behind!

I am choosing to press ahead . . . for God does NOT lie and His Word promises that He is Faithful to complete that which He started!!!! Philippians 1:6

Masks down, head bowed, on my knees, tears gently falling, heart shaking, asking for brothers and sisters to surround with loving prayers and arms of love; words of encouragement . . . words of corrections, if you see anything that needs correcting, I am open – I do NOT want anything to hinder my growth! I desire to remain a handmaiden that He can use for His glory, for the furthering of His Kingdom . . . nothing else! I never want to be a stumbling block to anyone in any way! Not ever, especially not in my vulnerability, but I refuse to wear masks ever again . . . I must continue to allow my Precious Lord to mold and shape me into ALL that He desires me to be! I long to be the spotless Bride that He longs to return for! I want no blemishes, no wrinkles, no scars!!! If there be ANY thing that is NOT right – I want it GONE!!!! Oh, Jesus, You alone know the depths of anguish within my being . . . I feel as though somehow I have failed you, but I am not responsible for those around me, we are each responsible for our own walk . . . help me to remain steadfast and true to you and to them through every step of this journey . . . in love and honor and respect.

I love how you just answered me, Lord . . . WOW!

“It’s all yours. All your life, no one will be able to hold out against you. In the same way I was with Moses, I’ll be with you. I won’t give up on you; I won’t leave you. Strength! Courage! You are going to lead this people to inherit the land that I promised to give their ancestors. Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Make sure you carry out The Revelation that Moses commanded you, every bit of it. Don’t get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you’re going. And don’t for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed. Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.” Joshua 1:7-9 The Message

Now THAT sets me to rejoicing!!!!! 

image from oslchurch.com

© klh 4-Given Ministries

WHEN Will It End???

We need to Rest/Abide/Walk . . . that was one of the very first things we studied back in school for the Biblical Counseling courses I took. The title of the book we studied was the same, written by Watchmen Nee – POWERFUL!!! I highly recommend it, by the way.

Just returned from a very important trip that the Lord had me take regarding some urgent family matters in another state. WOW. Difficult does not even begin to describe what my flesh/inner man had to deal with in the spiritual battle . . . I am going to share two pictures to kind of describe how it ‘felt’ . . . one was taken from a fellow christian blogger (I recommend you click on the link below the photo and read their blog associated with the photo) and the second one I am sure you will recognize from an old movie. Combine the two together and that will give you a good visual of the word picture I cannot adequately describe because I REFUSE to use the kind of words that I was bombarded with (AND continue to be bombarded with on the phone since returning home . . . S I G H ).

https://christiandfahey.wordpress.com/2012/07/03/treat-your-mouth-as-a-loaded-gun/

So, here I sit, typing up these words as tears still fall gently from my eyes (they were not so gentle a while ago) and I think of how in world people can be SO VERY DIFFERENT from one another! Sure, we truly do love one another, but there it ends.

We think differently, we act differently, we see things differently, and we choose our words differently! (There IS power of life and death in the tongue!!!! Proverbs 18:21 and words truly can feel like a never ending barrage of gunfire when let loose over and over . . . )

There is a time where love is given, it is taken as an insult . . .

There is a place where a kindness is extended, it is taken as an intrusion . . .

There is a moment where one desires to give all they can to help improve a situation, and it is shoved back in the face with such venomous hate that one wishes to crawl into a hole and completely disappear from sight, but you cannot, you have to lower your voice, speak with love and continue on . . . it is difficult, but focus on what God has called you to do! It is His assignment that you are on, not man’s. I make the choice to walk in LOVE and FORGIVENESS . . . at all times, praying for their peace and supernatural encounters in their own lives!!!

So . . . as the tears continue to flow . . . I sing along with Kristene DiMarco . . . 

Abba Father, I Love You with ALL my heart! I do let it all go . . . I TRUST IN YOU!!!! You are my EVERYTHING . . . I know that You have all parties in Your Hand . . . You love them even more than I do and Your heart is breaking probably even more than mine is right now over this whole situation . . . I can boldly say (even through the tears)

IT IS WELL . . . WITH MY SOUL!!!

Philippians 4:6-7

 

© klh 4-Given Ministries

 

 

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Fall?

Oh my GOODNESS!!! What a HORRIFIC few days . . . tests, trials,Hurricane Force Winds blowing our way from the enemy camp, attacks on all sides . . .

image from http://www.ino.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/fshoe.jpg

PRAISE GOD!
We MUST be doing something right!

“Why in the world are you saying that?” (you ask) Because If these kinds of attacks keep happening one after the other, boom, boom, boom . . . we have to be on the precipice of something wonderful for the Kingdom of God and we have riled up the troops of enemy!

You know . . . he can ‘see’ the path we are on, and he knows where it is leading. When he sees the stance we take, and hears the plans we have voiced/set in motion, and knows what victories those same plans have brought others in The Kingdom of God – he begins to SHAKE . . . and (I can almost see it) I believe even froth at the mouth! Perhaps spewing out in anger, “No! Not another one!”, then turning to  his cohorts, “You must stop them, they cannot proceed, you must NOT allow them to move forward with their plans!!!!”

Yes, these past few days (weeks) have been very rough (painful), and yes, there have been some tears . . . but I have taken every single struggle, every single dart the enemy has thrown my way (every stone/arrow/lightening bolt/shoe dropped/etc) before my King’s Throne! I have crawled up on My Daddy’s Lap and cried . . . He SEES, He KNOWS, He IS in CONTROL over every circumstance and HE REIGNS SUPREME OVER ALL!!!

Then . . . NOW . . . I tell that ole’ devil . . .

you….ARE….DEFEATED! 1 John 4:4

you …. ARE …. under MY FEET!!!!! (because Christ is in us and we are in Him) Mark 12:36

you . . . can throw whatever you want, but you STILL LOSE!!!!! It is written, it WAS SAID, and it is still true . . . John 19:30 . . . the “IT” was EVERYTHING (sin, sickness, wickedness, etc.)

IT IS FINISHED!!!!! 

This has REALLY helped me through . . .

© klh 4-Given Ministries

Gasping For Breath!

 

Ever feel so crushed that you can hardly breathe? That is where I am at the present moment! Coming off an incredible, power-packed 3 weeks filled with ministry and pressing ahead to another 2 weeks of Seeking God with the 10 Days San Antonio . . . starting on the 20th . . .  I find myself at the moment sitting here, slightly overwhelmed, feeling the loss of a new but dear friend who flew off back to his home in Kent (the UK) this morning and the last minute crunch time of preparations for the 10 Days – oh – not mention the amazing Beauty for Ashes Conference held Saturday where many women were set FREE from years of bondage’s!!! God is so GOOD!!!! Hallelujah! It is strange that all of a sudden I find myself feeling (ah, there it is! ‘feeling’) like I am gasping for a breath! So much has happened in such a short amount of time – it seems as though a few years worth of ministry work jam-packed into a few short weeks . . . that is what it is . . . the pressure . . . condensing a LOT into such a small amount of time . . . BUT GOD!!! What am amazing God we serve!!!

He is our Breath! He is our Strength! He is our Hope! He is our Joy! He is our Peace! He is ALL we need, for EVERY situation!!! I give Him ALL the praise, honor and glory!!!

Lord, God, thank You for giving me the opportunity to speak into the lives of those whom You strategically placed in my path these past few weeks . . . even the one you brought across the ocean, Abba Father, You amaze me!!! Yes, it has been draining, but it has been powerful, it has been good and I would not trade it for anything in the world!!! How I love You, Lord!!! How I praise You!!!! You are my EVERYTHING!!!!! Now, Lord, I ask that You SEAL the work that You have done in the lives of these precious ones . . . every one of them, Lord . . . continue the work . . . let the roots go down deep, and the the branches grow strong, and the fruit be rich and beautiful, my God, all for Your Glory!!! in Jesus Mighty Name, amen!

 

HOLY SPIRIT BREATHE ON ME, IN ME AND THROUGH ME . . . NOW AND ALWAYS, AMEN!

© klh 4-Given Ministries

A RUSH TO RE-FUEL?

image provided by Mark Lugo, San Antonio

In San Antonio we rely upon gasoline resources coming up from the Huston area, however with Houston being underwater from Hurricane Harvey there is a bit of a panic among most residents here. I’m telling you, I personally have not seen such a rush on gas stations since the 1970’s!  As I was out and about in the last few days I was in shock at the cars practically on top of one another, some coming in at all types of strange angles vying to get to the pumps before another person. Really? There is NOT a shortage, just a delay. What are people thinking?!

There are literally fights breaking out, from what I’ve heard, it is a total mess. Stores are still wiped out of regular supplies, which is not necessary whatsoever . . . in other areas, perhaps, but not ours.

What DOES break my heart, however, as I observe all of this ‘rushing to / panicking after’ fuel is this:

(and here begins the waterworks of my own soul, my eyes are filling once more as they have since the first observance of this phenomenon)

THIS FUEL IS SO QUICKLY USED UP!

IT DOES NOT LAST!!!   IT IS ONLY TEMPORARY!!!

We, as believers in Jesus Christ have an everlasting fuel . . . an Oil in our lamps that never burns up or vaporizes away into oblivion . . . we have Water from the Well that NEVER runs dry . . .  we soak up, we breath in, we read, we meditate upon, we

Photo provided from Jay MacFarland, San Antonio

bask in, we ‘refuel’ (if you will) all the time . . . we invite others. They TOO can partake for themselves.  Seems as though they are not interested . . . but here they are today . . . FLOCKING and FIGHTING over a seemingly (concocted / stretched / imagined) shortage or crisis of possibly running low on fuel for their vehicles which will only get them going for another few days or perhaps a week . . . I am simply heartbroken.

What about the very thing that will help get them through their WHOLE lives?! Why don’t they care about that?!

Courtesy of Mennonite Historical Churches

Meanwhile, our church parking lots often (even on days when services are being held) look like this . . . What am I missing here? Can someone enlighten me?

 

 

 

 

 

© klh 4-Given Ministries

 

#Don’t Worry Just Pray!!!

 • We are not beggars, we are BELIEVERS.
• We don’t pout, we PRAY.
• We don’t worry, we WORSHIP.
• We don’t complain about hardship, we CONFESS our victory.
• We don’t give up, we GRAB ONTO GRACE. 
• We don’t doubt, we DARE TO LIVE by what we know.
• We don’t retreat, we REBUKE AND REBUILD.
• Above all, we know WHO IS FOR US, WITH US, IN US, AND NEVER AGAINST US. HIS NAME IS JESUS. 

As Christians and as The Church of Jesus Christ, we know what to do. #DontWorryJustPray – Grace Gonzalez

August 27 near Houston · (used by permission, Grace, I thank you for your strong spirit, and I bless you, in the Name of Jesus for the encouragement, grace and love you pour out to others each and every day! Thank you for allowing me to help spread this prayer message of HOPE!)

Perfectly Fitted Together

God has a plan and a purpose behind every word He allowed to be penned . . . an illustration for us to gasp a hold of . . . to meditate upon . . . to allow to sink deep down inside of our spirit and to change the way we think, act and treat one another in our Christian lives!

image from slide share

Let us take a deeper look into the this passage mentioned in the photo, and specific emphasis on phrases within. This is a message to us ALL. We are the brethren! There is to be NO division between us – NONE.

See that “DOVETAIL” work there? Have you ever realized the STRENGTH behind that kind of fitted together?! It is the Greek word, Strong’s # 2675 katartizó translated “perfectly joined together” which, in depth, means  – like shown in this illustration – a detailed, “properly adjusted, exactly fit to work together, adjusted exactly ‘down’ to fully function!” (just a partial snip-it from the full definition).

Dear ones, we are to be one in Christ Jesus! We are to be LIKE MINDED!  God is calling us forth to become new wine skins He can use to hold and pour forth the New Wine He is getting ready to pour out upon this world for His Divine purposes . . . but He can only do it with those that are ready to walk TOGETHER in ONENESS of heart and mind. Those who are willing to put down their prejudices, pride, wants, desires, their “me, me, me” attitudes, and allow God to fit us together as He desires and function together as He sees fit!

There is a song, often used at weddings, but most appropriate for this message as well. I would like to share some of the words here:

Make us one, make us one
Make us one, undivided body
Make us one, make us one
For the sake of Your name make us one

Make us love, make us love
Make us love so the world will know we love You
Make us love, make us love
For the sake of Your name make us love

Read more: Twila Paris – Make Us One Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Click to view the YouTube Video 

Abba Father, open our ears to HEAR, open our spirit eyes to SEE, open our HEARTS to fully grasp and understand what You are getting ready to do . . . what You are asking us to lay down at this time in our lives and HOW to fully embrace one another in Your love and go forth as ONE with You and become the Bride You have asked us to be – ready to BE what You desire us to be for Your Kingdom, in Jesus Name, amen!!!

© klh 4-Given Ministries

Acting Contrary To Circumstances

It’s not easy, by any means, but it IS what God asks of us . . . Jesus lead us by example, and Paul shared with us in his letter to the Corinthian Church. Let’s take a closer look at 1 Corinthians 4

When people acted hateful towards Jesus, think about it, did Jesus lash out back at them? No, of course not!

How many times people also acted spitefully against Paul as well, and yet he, too, did not respond in kind. No, he responded as he in the same way as Christ. As he was taught by the leading of Holy Spirit, through The the example of the life of Christ.

Was Paul perfect? Of course not!!! Only Christ is perfect! He is God! We cannot put one another up on a pedestal, but we can admire the example that their life of faith and trust  brought us. Remember his comment, also to the Corinthians, “Be imitators of me, just as I am of Christ.” Paul ALWAYS pointed to Christ as his example. He remembered where he came from, his zeal, his wrong zeal, and how Christ took that passion, changed his name from Saul to Paul (actually from great to small, but used him mightily) and placed him on the path He had chosen for him! HALLELUJAH!

So . . . Let’s ask ourselves the hard questions and take an HONEST REFLECTION of inside of our hearts . . . are you ready? I suggest you take a note book and write out the questions and then your responses – honestly, from your heart – we will discuss them more afterwards.

1. When someone says something about me behind my back and I find out about it . . . the next time I see that person, how do I act towards that person?
2. If I have been falsely accused by someone, at work  or school (or anywhere, for that matter), what is my normal reaction?
3. If I have spoken too quickly, judging a person without the facts and have found out I was wrong, what do I do?
4. If someone has wronged me and asks for forgiveness – do I demand restitution, seek revenge, or have compassion and forgive?
5. Have I ever tried to place myself in the other person’s shoes to see the woundedness that they have walked in, to feel the pain that they have suffered through, tried to understand why they are acting and reacting to things they way they are? . . . or is it ALWAYS about ME???

Once you have your answers, I suggest that we take some time and lay our answers out before the Lord. Ask Him to reveal the meaning of them . . . open up the eyes of our understanding . . . reveal our hearts to ourselves . . . where do we REALLY stand with Him? Do we truly represent Him to the world? Are we REALLY imitators of Him to this world as Paul suggests we be?

You know, as I was reading, specifically verses 12 and 13 in 1 Corinthians 4, I started to look up some of the Greek words used in the original text for further clarification. I wanted to understand what the Lord was speaking into my heart here through Paul. WOW, did I get a revelation! Here are two examples:

The word reviled (in verse 12) refers to something that others do to us . . . that word in the Greek is # 3058 in the Strong’s Concordance meaning to revile, reproach, mock, dishonor, to make a spectacle of, to ridicule, etc. …. I can honestly say this has happened to me on a more than a few occasions!

Paul’s response to those actions? Did you notice what he said? Look at it . . . “we bless” . . . that’s right . . . he said, “WE BLESS” . . . is that your reaction, is it mine?

The second word I looked up was conciliate (in verse 13) which refers to something that we do towards others when they have slandered us. This is # 3870 in the Strong’s Concordance which means (oh my goodness, are you ready for this?) to call near, to entreat, to comfort, to pray for, exhort, encourage, etc.   . . . whoa! is that your reaction, is it mine?

I don’t know about you, dear ones, but for me, I realize that being Christ-minded, Christ-like . . . well . . . I have a lot more growing to do than I thought!

Abba Father, I am truly humbled by that which You have revealed to me this day and I lay myself upon Your altar asking You to burn away even more of that which is not of You within this darkened soul of mine. I desire to be more like You yet find that I have so far to go . . . continue to reveal more of the areas that I need to change and walk contrary to the circumstances that life throws my way in Jesus Name, amen.

“One Who Knows The Heart”

The Greek Word is (Strong’s # 2589) pronounced “kardiognostes” (notice how similar this word is to our ‘heart doctors’ today? Cardiologist? hmmm) . . . and it is the word used in Acts 15:8 Peter was speaking to the Jerusalem Council in regards to their belief that the gentile believers should be circumcised.

He went on to share how greatly God had moved among these gentile believers, how the Almighty God had made absolutely NO distinction, NO difference whatsoever between them simply because of their NOT being of Jewish heritage . . . ONLY based upon their FAITH and acceptance of Jesus Christ!

W O W

image from http://blogs.christianpost.com/weekly-wisdom/9-17-12-receiving-gods-love-12003/

Do you realize that WE still tend to be like that council in Jerusalem today? Yes, us! We walk in judgment of those we see that perhaps do not ‘look’ like us. Or that do not go to churches like we do, worship like we do.

Let me tell you of some amazing, eye-opening things that the Lord has been doing here in San Antonio (and around the world) that have caused me to truly become one who has been crying out to the Lord to give me eyes to see others hearts as He does . . . I truly want to be “one who sees and knows the hearts of others!”

I have seen people young, old and everywhere in between dancing, singing, weeping, pouring out their hearts before the Lord, praying for others, ministering to others – regardless of the color of their skin, the way they were dressed, or the condition of their health . . . they just LOVED on them!!! Whether their style of worship was rap, rock, gospel, a banjo, drums, an iPad playing, a keyboard, tambourine, old-style hymns, new free-flowing spirit songs from their hearts to the Lord – it mattered not – it was all done to the Glory of their Lord and Savior – TRUE WORSHIP!

Souls brought into the Kingdom of God . . .

Holy Spirit showed up MIGHTILY . . .

People set FREE from addictions, bondage’s, fears that had held them for years . . .

People from all backgrounds standing side by side, worshiping the Lord in UNITY!

Dear ones . . . it is happening NOW! And it will continue to grow as we continue to individually seek the face of God, as we continually get in the Word ourselves, seeking His Heart of LOVE and then begin with His eyes to SEE into the hearts of others and truly love others as He intended us to do!

Yesterday I heard a young man (18) rap of his struggle and his total dependence upon God for ALL things . . . it filled my spirit to overflowing . . . my eyes are filling even now at the remembrance of it – we (plural) ARE the Bride of Christ and ONLY when we are in full UNITY can we along with the Holy Spirit say “Come Lord Jesus, Come” . . . . Revelation 22:17

image from believersactblog

While I Was Away from Blogging

Illness, Despair, Hitting rock bottom – but NEVER giving up the hope I have in Jesus Christ!

Believing in His promises – KNOWING He will never leave me nor forsake me!

from 1safeharborisjesus.wordpress.com

KNOWING that my body IS healed and that it WILL come in line – whether in this lifetime or in my heavenly body – I knew not – but I continue to believe in His promise to me!

Visions – Revelations – whispers into my innermost being . . . still in the process of discovering the very depth of His incredible LOVE for me – my BELOVED – my JOY – and what all of what He has shown me, and continues to reveal to me means . . . and when and how to begin to share with you . . . it will come . . . it is powerful . . . I miss writing, but have been unable up to this point. It was horrible, I could hardly form sentences, think, could not type, could not read . . . could not even sing or play my musical instrument in worship . . . all was internal from my spirit to God’s heart . . . and from His Spirit to mine . . . deep and intense and rich in LOVE.

The song that got me through . . .