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Being Vunerable

Published May 4, 2018 by birdieklh

Venerability . . . oh, how we fight against being vulnerable with one another . . . why?!

carnival-venice-eyes-mask-53207.jpeg I used to hide behind masks myself – believe me – I had a mask for almost every situation! “never let anyone know what I was really feeling”, that was my way of approaching life . . . yes, even as a Christian, even in Ministry! I would be sharing with others about the Love of Christ and living in victory, but be torn apart inside . . . never letting others know what was REALLY going on in my own shattered world! NOT ANY MORE!!!!  The Lord has shown me that there is a reason His Word tells us to “bear one another’s burdens”! Galatians 6:2

How can we truly be healed, if we do not allow others to minister to our wounds?!

How can we grow, if we do not allow the weeds to be pulled, the branches to be pruned and the roots to be fed and watered?!

I ask again . . . why?! Now, I answer . . . PRIDE, plain and simple . . . one of satan’s nasty tools that he loves to use to keep us from reaching our potential as becoming the beautiful whole sanctified Bride of Christ . . . (lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh and the pride of life; 1 John 2:16), his tricks never change! But why are we so quick to fall for his silly little dangling carrots in front of us?! For years I did, but NO MORE!!! I now make the conscious effort to choose to be vulnerable – to be open, even IF people make their own choice to think differently of me – that is their problem. I will forgive them.

So, here I am, with NO mask, sharing my heart . . . things have been REALLY chaotic to say the least, for a while now . . . took care of one side of it . . . now more ‘stuff’ has come up, and WOW! Mercy, I’m listening to a song just now that is talking about ‘the bottom falling out’ – how appropriate – BUT GOD! He has it ALL in His Hands! It is the trusting in Him through it that causes me to remind myself to “Breathe, girl!” (honestly, I do forget sometimes, and have to remind myself when I find myself really lightheaded!)  And I look at those I love, and sometimes find my thoughts going “who IS this person? why are they talking this way? what is going on? where is all this coming from?” Of course, I KNOW we do NOT wrestle against flesh but against principalities and powers . . . etc. Ephesians 6:12  and that I just have to crawl up on Abba Father’s lap and rest in Him, drawing upon Holy Spirit’s never ending PEACE that passes ALL understanding and press on ahead . . . but, being REAL here . . . the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak (sometimes)…. remember, I’ve left the masks behind!

I am choosing to press ahead . . . for God does NOT lie and His Word promises that He is Faithful to complete that which He started!!!! Philippians 1:6

Masks down, head bowed, on my knees, tears gently falling, heart shaking, asking for brothers and sisters to surround with loving prayers and arms of love; words of encouragement . . . words of corrections, if you see anything that needs correcting, I am open – I do NOT want anything to hinder my growth! I desire to remain a handmaiden that He can use for His glory, for the furthering of His Kingdom . . . nothing else! I never want to be a stumbling block to anyone in any way! Not ever, especially not in my vulnerability, but I refuse to wear masks ever again . . . I must continue to allow my Precious Lord to mold and shape me into ALL that He desires me to be! I long to be the spotless Bride that He longs to return for! I want no blemishes, no wrinkles, no scars!!! If there be ANY thing that is NOT right – I want it GONE!!!! Oh, Jesus, You alone know the depths of anguish within my being . . . I feel as though somehow I have failed you, but I am not responsible for those around me, we are each responsible for our own walk . . . help me to remain steadfast and true to you and to them through every step of this journey . . . in love and honor and respect.

I love how you just answered me, Lord . . . WOW!

“It’s all yours. All your life, no one will be able to hold out against you. In the same way I was with Moses, I’ll be with you. I won’t give up on you; I won’t leave you. Strength! Courage! You are going to lead this people to inherit the land that I promised to give their ancestors. Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Make sure you carry out The Revelation that Moses commanded you, every bit of it. Don’t get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you’re going. And don’t for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed. Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.” Joshua 1:7-9 The Message

Now THAT sets me to rejoicing!!!!! 

worship in dance

image from oslchurch.com

© klh 4-Given Ministries

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WHEN Will It End???

Published April 23, 2018 by birdieklh

We need to Rest/Abide/Walk . . . that was one of the very first things we studied back in school for the Biblical Counseling courses I took. The title of the book we studied was the same, written by Watchmen Nee – POWERFUL!!! I highly recommend it, by the way.

Just returned from a very important trip that the Lord had me take regarding some urgent family matters in another state. WOW. Difficult does not even begin to describe what my flesh/inner man had to deal with in the spiritual battle . . . I am going to share two pictures to kind of describe how it ‘felt’ . . . one was taken from a fellow christian blogger (I recommend you click on the link below the photo and read their blog associated with the photo) and the second one I am sure you will recognize from an old movie. Combine the two together and that will give you a good visual of the word picture I cannot adequately describe because I REFUSE to use the kind of words that I was bombarded with (AND continue to be bombarded with on the phone since returning home . . . S I G H ).

So, here I sit, typing up these words as tears still fall gently from my eyes (they were not so gentle a while ago) and I think of how in world people can be SO VERY DIFFERENT from one another! Sure, we truly do love one another, but there it ends.

We think differently, we act differently, we see things differently, and we choose our words differently! (There IS power of life and death in the tongue!!!! Proverbs 18:21 and words truly can feel like a never ending barrage of gunfire when let loose over and over . . . )

There is a time where love is given, it is taken as an insult . . .

There is a place where a kindness is extended, it is taken as an intrusion . . .

There is a moment where one desires to give all they can to help improve a situation, and it is shoved back in the face with such venomous hate that one wishes to crawl into a hole and completely disappear from sight, but you cannot, you have to lower your voice, speak with love and continue on . . . it is difficult, but focus on what God has called you to do! It is His assignment that you are on, not man’s. I make the choice to walk in LOVE and FORGIVENESS . . . at all times, praying for their peace and supernatural encounters in their own lives!!!

So . . . as the tears continue to flow . . . I sing along with Kristene DiMarco . . . 

Abba Father, I Love You with ALL my heart! I do let it all go . . . I TRUST IN YOU!!!! You are my EVERYTHING . . . I know that You have all parties in Your Hand . . . You love them even more than I do and Your heart is breaking probably even more than mine is right now over this whole situation . . . I can boldly say (even through the tears)

IT IS WELL . . . WITH MY SOUL!!!

Philippians 4:6-7

 

© klh 4-Given Ministries

 

 

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Fall?

Published April 6, 2018 by birdieklh

Oh my GOODNESS!!! What a HORRIFIC few days . . . tests, trials,Hurricane Force Winds blowing our way from the enemy camp, attacks on all sides . . .

PRAISE GOD!
We MUST be doing something right!

“Why in the world are you saying that?” (you ask) Because If these kinds of attacks keep happening one after the other, boom, boom, boom . . . we have to be on the precipice of something wonderful for the Kingdom of God and we have riled up the troops of enemy!

You know . . . he can ‘see’ the path we are on, and he knows where it is leading. When he sees the stance we take, and hears the plans we have voiced/set in motion, and knows what victories those same plans have brought others in The Kingdom of God – he begins to SHAKE . . . and (I can almost see it) I believe even froth at the mouth! Perhaps spewing out in anger, “No! Not another one!”, then turning to  his cohorts, “You must stop them, they cannot proceed, you must NOT allow them to move forward with their plans!!!!”

Yes, these past few days (weeks) have been very rough (painful), and yes, there have been some tears . . . but I have taken every single struggle, every single dart the enemy has thrown my way (every stone/arrow/lightening bolt/shoe dropped/etc) before my King’s Throne! I have crawled up on My Daddy’s Lap and cried . . . He SEES, He KNOWS, He IS in CONTROL over every circumstance and HE REIGNS SUPREME OVER ALL!!!

Then . . . NOW . . . I tell that ole’ devil . . .

you….ARE….DEFEATED! 1 John 4:4

you …. ARE …. under MY FEET!!!!! (because Christ is in us and we are in Him) Mark 12:36

you . . . can throw whatever you want, but you STILL LOSE!!!!! It is written, it WAS SAID, and it is still true . . . John 19:30 . . . the “IT” was EVERYTHING (sin, sickness, wickedness, etc.)

IT IS FINISHED!!!!! 

This has REALLY helped me through . . .

© klh 4-Given Ministries

God’s Impeccable Timing!

Published February 19, 2017 by birdieklh

Oh my goodness . . . why am I surprised?! Silly me! He ALWAYS does things perfectly, and here I am still basking in His awesome love.

I simply HAVE to share some of what our awesome Lord has done.

You see, my husband and I went on a retreat – knew it would bring healing, set some things right in our lives, but we really had NO idea how much so! Without going into all the details, let me simply say this – a HUGE bolder of “Unworthiness & Rejection” was revealed, stripped away and TOSSED my-bolder as far as one can possibly throw. It was a very intense, introspective time of examination, and it was not pleasant . . . ah, but the lightness within, after letting, go was amazing. It is amazing still, now, a week later.

The story does not end there . . . no, my friends, it is but a beginning.

There had been (in the past few months) a ‘feeling’ of distance (sort of a wall) that I had noticed. After what happened on that retreat, and after prayer, I reached out to the person explaining that I was sensing a distancing in our relationship. I asked if I had somehow offended them. They responded, “let’s talk”. So, today, we did.

 

I’m telling you that God’s PERFECT timing is just that. The person didn’t feel a ‘release’ to speak with me until I reached out. Then, when we had our glorious encounter, I KNEW that had I / we tried to ‘talk’ (of the things we discussed) before . . . it would of been a complete devastating disaster to me. But it wasn’t! No, not at all. With that burden;  that bolder of unworthiness lifted, I was able to have a normal, very productive, incredible and glorious time of receiving the love that was being offered.

Sometimes we have to have difficult discussions with one another – to truly walk in the Love of Christ, to be the body He intended us to be, we need to speak to one another from time to time with. Instruction, presented and received in love is SO freeing! SO healing! SO refreshing!

I am grateful to God for placing Godly friends around me. Those that love me enough to address an area they see (or perceive) differently than that which God intends for us.

Once we have allowed God to heal the trauma of our past – once we’ve allowed Holy Spirit to download into our hearts how precious we are to Him – once we understand / grasp His GREAT love for us . . . we can RECEIVE and grow from what others (who truly love us) have to say.

How I thank Him for the surgery He preformed on my inner-man at the retreat.

How I thank Him for showing me that I AM worthy – so worthy, in fact that He sent His Son to die in my place that I could have eternal life!

How I thank Him for helping me (over the past few months) to see and recognize (and we are still working on the understanding) that what He has me doing in the Kingdom is of great worth. It is not what I had felt I should be doing. It is not what others have spoken over my life, that I would be doing. I had (from the depths of that heavy bolder of unworthiness) felt that what I was doing was nothing . . . but it IS EXACTLY what He has for me at this time.

I am praising Him for allowing me to embrace the woman He is designing me to be! I have begun to feel an excitement in what He has me doing. Beginning to be comfortable with me . . . probably for the very first time in my entire life . . . it is an incredible revelation and it is full of joy and peace like I’ve never known before.

You know, sometimes we hear a word spoken (or in my case, multiple ‘confirmations’ of a word spoken) over us and we jump in with everything we have. We push forward, we keep speaking it . . . proclaiming (calling forth those things that are not as though they are) but . . . was it REALLY the Lord speaking those things over us? Did we / did I (no) take it to prayer and seek His plan? Unfortunately, I just went with it. Then, with that bolder of unworthiness strapped to my back, I pressed on. What did that accomplish? Heartache and disappointment time after time after time. I would find myself reacting out of that “trying to prove . . . (something) myself” – oh, Lord, what a mess!

Why am I making myself vulnerable by sharing such intimate details of my faith walk? Because I am praying that perhaps it will help another person on their own pilgrimage.

May I suggest a thorough examination of your heart:

  • Am I reacting in ways that are not mature in some areas?
  • Do things people say or do (or not say or do) cause me to feel rejected?
  • Do I find myself always struggling with “please listen to me, I am important too”?
  • Am I uncomfortable with where God has me right now, when I ‘want’ something different?
  • What IS my real perception of myself (on the inside, when no one is around)?
  • Does that perception line up with how others see you? What do their reactions/words tell me about who I am?
  • Have I absolutely taken the words spoken over me and run with them, or have I totally laid them on the altar before the Lord, seeking His guidance, His direction, His vision, His plan?

I have been walking with the Lord for a very long time. I have been serving Him for a very long time. Yet, I needed DEEP inner healing and a release I did not even realize I had need of! If you would have asked me a week and a half ago if I was completely free in the Lord, I would of answered quickly and emphatically, “YES!” – but, I would have been very wrong. We are always being stretched, shaped, molded into His image; however, sometimes we resist Him – not knowingly, but resisting still the same. That is where I was . . . I pray that I will not be there any more!

Abba Father, my love for You continues to grow more and more each and every day, and my heart overflows with gratitude to You for all You have done, are doing and will continue to do in my life. Help me, Holy Spirit, to remain pliable on Your Potter’s wheel . . . like the song you gave me yesterday, “I bow before Your Throne, Jesus, I trust in You, alone, Jesus – I lay my life on Your Altar, have Your way in me, Jesus . . . ”  I bless you, my God! Lover of my soul, King, Savior, Lord . . . amen

 Dear ones, we NEED to be able to see ourselves as God sees us. We NEED to understand that what He says about us is Truth and what others may have spoken over us/ into us throughout our lifetimes may have caused deep damage that He desires to heal.

worship in dance

image from oslchurch.com

It is my prayer that you, too, will find your healing.

© klh 4-Given Ministries

7 Years of Ministry & Marriage

Published May 14, 2016 by birdieklh
download_20160513_124825

Mariah & Mommy

What a joy, what a delight, Mariah got to join us in our big celebration of 7 years in Ministry & Marriage . . . my hubby and I renewed our vows (again!) but this time I had the blessing of a beautiful wedding gown from David’s Bridal.

We decided to renew our vows for numerous reasons :

 

  1. It was 7 years – completion
  2. It is the year of jubilee – all things restored
  3. I had lost enough weight to fit into a REAL bridal gown (previously a lacy mother of the bride dress)
  4. We had purchased new matching rings (another side effect of the weight loss – the others were too small even for my pinky anymore!)
  5. We wanted Mariah to be a part of our ceremony
  6. We wanted to celebrate in one of our FAVORITE places – SA Tabernacle House of Prayer – we are so blessed to be a part of the ministry that goes on there – it is in a beautiful old Methodist church with vaulted ceilings, beautiful stained glass & the atmosphere is CHARGED with Holy Spirit’s Presence due to the constant worship and ministry that goes on in that building!

I could go on and on . . . but . . . mostly I am grateful to the Lord for granting me my heart’s desire. I was praying for a new partner in ministry (Rev. Deb Gonser went Home to be with the Lord one year prior) for a year and low and behold, I got one . . . but . . . in the form of a husband to love, cherish, protect and co-labor in the Kingdom with! It is glorious!

The words of the song, “The More I Seek You” come into my spirit . . . it is SO true . . . as we decide to put ourselves in the Palm of the Master’s Hand, seeking His face, His will, His direction; delighting ourselves in Him . . . ah, the love and gifts He pours out to us are better than we could ever have imagined!

©klh 4-Given Ministries

When The Enemy Almost Wins…

Published August 21, 2015 by birdieklh

archangel MichaelWe HAVE all of Heaven on our side!

We need only reach out to God from our heart, crying out for His intervention, His mercy, His grace . . . and He IS Faithful!!!

Something awful hit way too close to home – a matter of life and death – but thanks to His FAITHFULNESS (and the prayers of many around the world) – life . . . WON! Thank You, Jesus!

Dear ones, it is too easy to throw up our hands and scream “No more!” or “I quit!” or “I can’t go on another minute!” Our Loving Lord is as near as the whisper of His Name (closer, actually, as He knows our thoughts before we speak) – when things seem to close in around us, reach out – get the prayers going – it truly IS the answer!

I am rejoicing in my Lord’s Goodness in my life today – won’t you join me? Glory to His Awesome, Powerful Name!!!

Thank You, Lord for surrounding my family with Your mighty warring angels of protection!!! I give You ALL praise, my Lord, thank You, thank YOU, THANK YOU!!!!

©klh 4Given Ministries

http://4-given.org

Total Honesty . . . It’s Been a Battle

Published June 8, 2015 by birdieklh

Let me start out this blog with a huge

S I G H

Spiritual Warfare from pintrest

Spiritual Warfare from pintrest

I am going to be completely honest with you, my dear readers, and let you know that I need to go back and re-read my own postings on Spiritual warfare!

Me . . . the one who so adamantly proclaims victory every day by standing firm on The Word and using our spiritual weapons . . . plain and simple, dear ones, I forgot my own words . . . I allowed the enemy to sneak in and start bombarding me without my recognizing that it was him . . . I put faces onto the attacks . . . COMPLETELY forgot that he was the one behind things . . . talk about a dumb move on my part!

But . . .  I will not beat myself up over this. I am ever grateful for a strong Christian support base…people who love me enough to speak these reminders back into my life.

There are still ugly words.

There are still horrible actions.

There are still brick walls I’m banging my head against.

B U T – I – KNOW

that the battle is the Lord’s and not mine . . . that the victory IS mine because He already overcame ALL the wiles of the evil one over my life on my behalf! I need only stand firm and see His power in action. Thank You, Jesus!!!

Abba Father, forgive me for not having my spiritual eyes open which allowed me to be blind-sided by the enemy! Thank You for placing Your mighty warriors around me, protecting me from even greater harm, and for speaking Truth in love into my life. Thank You for Your guidance, discernment and peace, sweet Holy Spirit. I am ever so grateful for You! Jesus, bless You for all You have done to win the victory for me already and for leaving Your Word as a reminder of how to walk this walk of faith and victory. amen and amen

(c) klh 4Given Ministries

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