Inner Healing,

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God’s Impeccable Timing!

Published February 19, 2017 by birdieklh

Oh my goodness . . . why am I surprised?! Silly me! He ALWAYS does things perfectly, and here I am still basking in His awesome love.

I simply HAVE to share some of what our awesome Lord has done.

You see, my husband and I went on a retreat – knew it would bring healing, set some things right in our lives, but we really had NO idea how much so! Without going into all the details, let me simply say this – a HUGE bolder of “Unworthiness & Rejection” was revealed, stripped away and TOSSED my-bolder as far as one can possibly throw. It was a very intense, introspective time of examination, and it was not pleasant . . . ah, but the lightness within, after letting, go was amazing. It is amazing still, now, a week later.

The story does not end there . . . no, my friends, it is but a beginning.

There had been (in the past few months) a ‘feeling’ of distance (sort of a wall) that I had noticed. After what happened on that retreat, and after prayer, I reached out to the person explaining that I was sensing a distancing in our relationship. I asked if I had somehow offended them. They responded, “let’s talk”. So, today, we did.

 

I’m telling you that God’s PERFECT timing is just that. The person didn’t feel a ‘release’ to speak with me until I reached out. Then, when we had our glorious encounter, I KNEW that had I / we tried to ‘talk’ (of the things we discussed) before . . . it would of been a complete devastating disaster to me. But it wasn’t! No, not at all. With that burden;  that bolder of unworthiness lifted, I was able to have a normal, very productive, incredible and glorious time of receiving the love that was being offered.

Sometimes we have to have difficult discussions with one another – to truly walk in the Love of Christ, to be the body He intended us to be, we need to speak to one another from time to time with. Instruction, presented and received in love is SO freeing! SO healing! SO refreshing!

I am grateful to God for placing Godly friends around me. Those that love me enough to address an area they see (or perceive) differently than that which God intends for us.

Once we have allowed God to heal the trauma of our past – once we’ve allowed Holy Spirit to download into our hearts how precious we are to Him – once we understand / grasp His GREAT love for us . . . we can RECEIVE and grow from what others (who truly love us) have to say.

How I thank Him for the surgery He preformed on my inner-man at the retreat.

How I thank Him for showing me that I AM worthy – so worthy, in fact that He sent His Son to die in my place that I could have eternal life!

How I thank Him for helping me (over the past few months) to see and recognize (and we are still working on the understanding) that what He has me doing in the Kingdom is of great worth. It is not what I had felt I should be doing. It is not what others have spoken over my life, that I would be doing. I had (from the depths of that heavy bolder of unworthiness) felt that what I was doing was nothing . . . but it IS EXACTLY what He has for me at this time.

I am praising Him for allowing me to embrace the woman He is designing me to be! I have begun to feel an excitement in what He has me doing. Beginning to be comfortable with me . . . probably for the very first time in my entire life . . . it is an incredible revelation and it is full of joy and peace like I’ve never known before.

You know, sometimes we hear a word spoken (or in my case, multiple ‘confirmations’ of a word spoken) over us and we jump in with everything we have. We push forward, we keep speaking it . . . proclaiming (calling forth those things that are not as though they are) but . . . was it REALLY the Lord speaking those things over us? Did we / did I (no) take it to prayer and seek His plan? Unfortunately, I just went with it. Then, with that bolder of unworthiness strapped to my back, I pressed on. What did that accomplish? Heartache and disappointment time after time after time. I would find myself reacting out of that “trying to prove . . . (something) myself” – oh, Lord, what a mess!

Why am I making myself vulnerable by sharing such intimate details of my faith walk? Because I am praying that perhaps it will help another person on their own pilgrimage.

May I suggest a thorough examination of your heart:

  • Am I reacting in ways that are not mature in some areas?
  • Do things people say or do (or not say or do) cause me to feel rejected?
  • Do I find myself always struggling with “please listen to me, I am important too”?
  • Am I uncomfortable with where God has me right now, when I ‘want’ something different?
  • What IS my real perception of myself (on the inside, when no one is around)?
  • Does that perception line up with how others see you? What do their reactions/words tell me about who I am?
  • Have I absolutely taken the words spoken over me and run with them, or have I totally laid them on the altar before the Lord, seeking His guidance, His direction, His vision, His plan?

I have been walking with the Lord for a very long time. I have been serving Him for a very long time. Yet, I needed DEEP inner healing and a release I did not even realize I had need of! If you would have asked me a week and a half ago if I was completely free in the Lord, I would of answered quickly and emphatically, “YES!” – but, I would have been very wrong. We are always being stretched, shaped, molded into His image; however, sometimes we resist Him – not knowingly, but resisting still the same. That is where I was . . . I pray that I will not be there any more!

Abba Father, my love for You continues to grow more and more each and every day, and my heart overflows with gratitude to You for all You have done, are doing and will continue to do in my life. Help me, Holy Spirit, to remain pliable on Your Potter’s wheel . . . like the song you gave me yesterday, “I bow before Your Throne, Jesus, I trust in You, alone, Jesus – I lay my life on Your Altar, have Your way in me, Jesus . . . ”  I bless you, my God! Lover of my soul, King, Savior, Lord . . . amen

 Dear ones, we NEED to be able to see ourselves as God sees us. We NEED to understand that what He says about us is Truth and what others may have spoken over us/ into us throughout our lifetimes may have caused deep damage that He desires to heal.

worship in dance

image from oslchurch.com

It is my prayer that you, too, will find your healing.

© klh 4-Given Ministries

Moments in Time

Published February 15, 2017 by birdieklh

Sometimes we seem to reflect upon certain moments in our life that we can quickly find ourselves ‘trapped’ in that time!

As much as we desire to get on with our lives, there always seems to be something way back in the past that has such a hold on us that we cannot seem to free ourselves and move on.

I truly believe that most of the time we are not even aware of those moments that have had enormous effects on the way we ‘see’ ourselves, and/or that can actually trigger responses in us as we face things that are in front of us now.

Are YOU trapped in a moment?

Do you find yourself responding to people or situations in a way that you find yourself questioning, Why in the world did that hit me the way it did?” or “Why did I respond that way?” or “Where in the world did that feeling come from?!”

Dear ones, when we have had trauma in our lives (even as far back as early childhood) and it has not truly been dealt with, it can – and does – trigger responses and reactions. Sometimes we’ve stuffed our experiences down so deeply inside that we don’t even recall them ourselves, yet something comes up and the trigger response is blown out of proportion!

If I find myself reacting to certain things, I have learned to ask the Lord to reveal to me the source within me that is allowing those words/thoughts/feelings to surface. Then, when He does, I repent (if its something I’ve caused) and ask Him to remove the hurt, allowing Him to bring forth the healing I need from that particular situation. Sometime it takes our reaching out to others as well, for added guidance – I strongly suggest a good Biblical counselor/mentor. To KNOW that the Lord desires us to walk in complete freedom from our past is a good place to start! Then, as you allow Holy Spirit to do His work in your heart, don’t allow the evil one to bring it back! If you find yourself starting to think about what someone said or did . . . stop it immediately . . . take that thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5)! Then, change your focus (Isaiah 43:18 & Philippians 4:8)!

Another thing that really helps me accomplish this task is to declare God’s word (usually the opposite of what I’m thinking/feeling). Here are some examples:

1 – I “feel” SO unloved . . . I will focus on God’s love for me!

2 – I “feel” like I’m unaccepted or rejected . . . I will focus on the fact that God chose me!

3 – When my body is throwing symptoms of an illness . . . I focus on what Christ did already for my healing!

There are many, many scriptures that can change our heart/mind attitude, if we but ask Him to show us, He is faithful. Treasure what He speaks into your heart – dwell in His presence, communicating with Him every little detail – allow His complete and total healing to pour over every area of your life. We all need healing in one area or another (or some of us in MANY areas) . . . He is waiting for you to come to Him . . . He is ready to love you through to victory!

© klh 4-Given Ministries

 

Overwhelmed by Grace

Published August 1, 2016 by birdieklh

This song TRULY expresses my own heart these days . . . If you’ve been following my other blog (Daring to Make a Difference) you already are aware of the fact that recently the Lord has given me a huge push (kick in the pants) to step out and start sharing publicly a deep dark secret I’ve held for 43 years and 5 month now. . .I fought Him, like I’m known to do from time to time when He wants me out of my ‘comfort zone’, but as He lovingly continues to prompt me, I relent; I surrender; I submit and start going forth with that which He is leading me to do.

It is NOT an easy thing to do after that many years of secrecy to start sharing with a few people, let alone with the world, but I know (from past experience) that as I do step out in obedience to His call, His GRACE IS there all the way, and that glorious grace is overwhelming!

So, casting down every vain imagination, (2 Corinthians 10:5); resting in Him FULLY (Psalm 91); trusting in Him (Proverbs 3:5-6), I put one foot in front of the other and began this new phase of my journey.

I KNOW beyond any shadow of any doubt that He always provides everything that is needed when you are in the center of His will. Even when we do not see, cannot even begin to imagine where the path will eventually lead, even when the enemy tries to throw doubts and lies your way that you are ‘not up to the task’!  I CHOOSE to be obedient to His call. (see 1 Samuel 3)!


And, now, as I have walked through several doors of opportunity – sharing my story – the GRACE, the LOVE, the response of others has been incredible. The words He is having me speak are truly helping to reach out to the hearts and lives of others for their own healing and it is overwhelming.

There is a local radio station here in San Antonio, KDRY 1100 AM that airs a segment every Sunday afternoon at 2:30 pm called  “Urban Missionaries”. I will be sharing my own personal journey as well as the legal aspects of the issues and what is being done to educate people in this matter AND numerous areas of resources to help others who have (or are) experiencing the same as I – hiding a deep dark secret. You see, as we hide things deep inside, they grow/fester and cause all kinds of side effects that we do not even think have anything to do with it – I sure didn’t!

Another thing I have done is create a special page on our website with resource links and testimonies. My own journey will be posted soon as well, and I am praying for the funds to upgrade the website so that I can actually post the audio from the various broadcasts that I’m doing.

I pray that as you face whatever you find yourself facing today – whether current issues or something that is haunting you from your own past – that you can realize, accept and KNOW that His GRACE IS SUFFICIENT . . . in fact it is absolutely overwhelming (in the best possible way)!

©klh 4-Given Ministries

Mangled and Broken?

Published June 11, 2016 by birdieklh
bunnysquish

sketch by “Bunny Squish”, used with permission

When I received an envelope filled with some paperwork (a project I was to work on), I found this sketch inside as well. When I saw it (this precious one always gives me little pieces of artwork in our communications) my heart simply broke. It got me to thinking about something, so I asked if I could use it for a blog. The answer was “Yes.”

I believe most of us have had days where we felt like we had been trampled upon; punched in the gut; ran over, etc., right? I know I sure have! The question that arises in my heart when reflecting upon those ‘things’, ‘people’ or ‘situations’ that caused me to “feel” like that is this:

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH THIS FEELING???

Upon answering this question I realize there are numerous choice that I can make.

  1. Own it – declare it over and over – giving the words power to actually have the feeling become who I am, choosing to make it part of my identity.
  2. Dwell upon it. Continue to ponder it over and over in my mind, letting it sink down into my heart and bring me down deeper and deeper into a dark hole.
  3. Get angry. Start harboring resentment towards …. fill in the blank … hurting no one but myself, really.
  4. Try to figure out and FIX it, most likely only a temporary fix and/or a worsening of the original cause of my feeling.
  5. Realize that feelings are neither right or wrong, they just are; but that they are not necessarily TRUTH. Decide to turn to God’s Word, apply it to my heart and the situation. Repent for my part, if needed. Forgive the parties involved (myself, if needed). Make the conscious choice to place my identity on who God says I am, not on how I feel or what someone has said or done to me.

The reason I am so adamant about this is because I used to ‘claim’ what I was feeling all the time – the results were disastrous! I ended up in a wheelchair for over 2 1/2 years. I saw myself as being unable to do anything whatsoever. Allowing the pain to cripple me; the emotions to drag me down deeper and deeper. ONLY when I made the CHOICE to stop giving it power by constantly talking about the things and choose instead to stand on and speak the Truth of God’s Word over it instead, did I start seeing victory.

This is an ongoing process . . . “casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,” 1 Corinthians 10:5 NKJV (emphasis, mine)

Every day we will be faced with situations, things, people, etc. that may cause our minds to want to start reflecting/dwelling/pondering in a direction other than that which is the way God wants us to think. “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Philippians 4:8 NKJV (emphasis, mine) 

WHAT WILL YOUR CHOICE BE???

We can face anything. We can overcome anything. We can walk victoriously in all areas of our lives as we keep our eyes focused on Christ; on His Words, His example for living this life. He has already given us EVERYTHING we need (we’ve talked about this before several times, because we need to remember the importance of it)!

 “as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

Fruitful Growth in the Faith

But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins.”  2 Peter 1:3-9 New King James Version (NKJV)

 

As we learn to take captive the thoughts, and continue to develop an intimate relationship with our Lord, the more our fruit will be rich and our walk victorious . . . I know my choice . . . I choose the Truth of the Word of God . . .

©klh 4-Given Ministries

Worship When Wounded

Published April 3, 2016 by birdieklh
prostrated

image from lacomunidad.elpasis.com

There is ONLY one thing for me to do . . .

I fall down on my face
in worship to my King!
He ALONE has the answers
to make this wounded heart SING
No matter what I am facing
nor whatever lays ahead
His glory there surrounds me
erasing all that was said.

Words can wound us deeply
and, yes, tears may appear
but I choose to trust Him fully
as He whispers LOVE into my ear

He ALONE is my everything
my heart’s desire, my breath, my song
In Him I take my refuge
It is there I belong

Oh my Father, My Abba
thank You for loving me
You bring strength, peace and comfort
that completely set me free

Free from things that tear apart
the lining of my soul
the words, the looks, the actions
melt away as You make me whole

I love You, my dearest Savior
in You I find my rest
Your joy wells up once again
as to You I will give my best

Ignoring those around me
and focusing on only You
I will continue going forward
and I know You’ll see me through

I desire to bring You honor
I desire to bring You glory
I desire to serve You always
I want THAT to be my story . . .

. . . she always brought Him honor
. . . she always brought Him glory
. . . she served the Lord, always
. . . regardless of life’s story!

Situations and circumstances
good and bad they will come
what we choose to DO with them
and how we overcome –

THAT is all that matters
when we stand before His Throne
Did I press through in victory?
Did I cling to Him, alone?

Oh, my precious Abba,
hear my heart’s cry
and hold me every gently
and I’ll try not to question, ‘why’

So I bow down now before You,
and worship You from deep within
You are most worthy – Lord
You ARE the Great I AM!

©KLH 4-Given Ministries

 

Broken Wall

Published December 16, 2015 by birdieklh

broken-wall Something incredible happened yesterday . . . I had a session of inner healing that I had never even imagined/understood that I had need of. I learned about a wall (of protection) I had put up as early as the age of 3! Brick by brick as things happened, hurt by hurt I built this wall.

Over the years of my faith walk I had knocked holes it it little by little, yet the wall itself was still there – although I did not even realize it . . . until yesterday.

Once I saw it, realized it was still up (even though it wasn’t completely solid) and I could not see beyond it, I asked Jesus to help me get rid of it. With a few hard, swift kicks it came down. What was on the other side? What had been there all the time awaiting me? A beautiful meadow set in  rolling hills – breathtakingly beautiful  -a special place for my Lord and I to be together,meadow hills2 to dance, to twirl, to sing, to walk, to share our hearts – a place of perfect joy, peace and protection – so much better that an ugly wall that did more harm than anything else!

Oh, I wish I could paint, or even sketch what I actually visualized – it was so amazing – I know beyond a shadow of any doubt that I am my Beloved’s and He is mine! That He is so pleased with my heart that gets lost in His presence – what a joy unspeakable and full of glory! All I can say is …

Thank You, Lord!

©klh 4-Given Ministries

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